Pathos

Emotions and feelings

11 Ways to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence

Ask your friends, family, mentors, coaches, therapists questions about yourself.

Language is extremely important, so make sure you’re using the right words to describe how you feel.

What are the factors that made you feel that way?

What are you physically feeling?

These are not the only ways to increase EQ and may not be universally effective for all people in all situations or circumstances.

Use all, or a combination of some, to find what works best for you.

Mindfulness

Personality and Strength/ Weaknesses tests

Six-second method

Practice patience by counting to 6 in order to respond to a highly emotional situation, rather than react on impulse

Examples: Big Five Personality Model, Myers-Briggs, Enneagram, Clifton StrengthsFinder, DISC assessment, GEM personaities.

Define your emotional vocabulary

Fly-on-the-wall

(in no particular order)

Acknowlege your emotions, develop self-awareness

Find the power in vulnerability, letting go of ego, and not over-rationalizing or over-thinking.

Instead of “I feel like you’re not listening,” say “I feel unheard.”

Careful not to use “like” or “as if” to describe feelings.

Express how you feel, not just what you think

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Be curious, ask questions, and listen

First seek to understand who you’re talking to.
Ask about what motivates them, what excites them, why they made those decisions.
Pay attention to their facial expressions and body language in relation to what they’re saying.

8

Love yourself

Say, “I love myself” in the mirror 10 times every day while dancing naked with music. It’s going to feel cheesy, vain, and weird, but
all growth starts with discomfort.

9

Squash the ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

No one should ever talk to anyone how negatively they talk to themselves.
What was the trigger? What was the automatic thought? Is there any truth to that? Now, what is your new thought?

10

Hand-write in Journal about TFA (Thoughts. Feelings. Actions)

Reflect upon your day, specifically around your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Writing by hand on pen and paper (vs typing) will slow down your brain and help provide more clarity for your thoughts and feelings.

11

Look at yourself from a third-person perspective.

Take the time to sit with your thoughts and recognize your mind and body (e.g. meditation, yoga, tai chi).
Learn about your breath and how it is both a voluntary and involuntary experience.

Personality tests are not meant to define you as a whole or box you in to a limited number of personalities, but can
give you clues and ways to better describe you and your habits, behaviors, motivations, strengths, and weaknesses.

Solomon’s Paradox - people tend to reason more wisely about other people’s problems.
than their own. If you look at your situation from an outside view, you can make better decisions.

Do not assume that other people are responsible for your emotions.

• **
  Mindfulness** (sati, Sanskrit smrti). To maintain awareness of reality, in particular the teachings (dharma).
• Investigation of the nature of reality (dhamma vicaya, Skt. dharmapravicaya).
• Energy (viriya, Skt. vīrya) also determination, effort
• Joy or rapture (pīti, Skt. prīti)
• Relaxation or tranquility (passaddhi, Skt. prashrabdhi) of both body and mind
• Concentration, (samādhi) a calm, one-pointed state of mind,[1] or clear awareness
• Equanimity (upekkha, Skt. upekshā). To accept reality as-it-is (yathā-bhuta) without craving or aversion.