How to Sell

Selling is one of the most fundamental human skills, and honestly, most people are terrible at it because they think it’s about talking. It’s not. The foundation of sales is understanding what someone actually needs and then showing them how what you have solves that need. That’s it. Everything else is technique layered on top of that core truth.

The first thing to internalize is that nobody wants to be sold to, but everybody wants to buy. There’s a huge psychological difference. When someone feels like they’re being sold to, their defenses go up immediately. When they feel like they’re making a decision on their own terms, they lean in. The best salespeople create an environment where the buyer feels like they’re discovering the solution themselves. This is where Persuasion meets genuine empathy — you’re not manipulating anyone, you’re guiding them through their own decision-making process.

Communication is obviously central to all of this. But it’s not about being smooth or charismatic (though that doesn’t hurt). It’s about asking the right questions and then actually listening to the answers. Most salespeople ask a question and then spend the entire time the other person is talking formulating their next pitch point. Don’t do that. Listen. Really listen. The prospect will tell you exactly how to sell to them if you just shut up long enough.

The written side of selling matters just as much. Copy — as in copywriting — is essentially selling in written form. The same principles apply: lead with the problem, agitate it a little, then present the solution. Whether you’re writing an email, a landing page, or a proposal, the structure is the same. Great copy feels like a conversation, not a brochure.

One framework that’s worth studying is Cialdini’s work on Influence. He identified six (later seven) principles that drive human decision-making: reciprocity, commitment and consistency, social proof, authority, liking, scarcity, and unity. Every effective sales technique maps back to one or more of these principles. You don’t need to memorize them as a checklist — just understand the underlying psychology and you’ll naturally start using them.

Here’s the uncomfortable truth about selling: you have to genuinely believe in what you’re selling. If you don’t, people will sense it. Not consciously maybe, but something will feel off. The best sales advice anyone ever gave me was “only sell things you’d recommend to your mom.” When you truly believe your product or service helps people, selling stops feeling sleazy and starts feeling like a service. You’re not taking something from them — you’re giving them access to something valuable.

The last piece is follow-up. Most sales happen after the fifth or sixth touch, but most salespeople give up after one or two. Persistence — respectful, value-adding persistence — is what separates people who close deals from people who “almost” close deals.